Fixing America In 500 Words Or Less

Chapter 8

Was Darwin Really Fair to the Monkey?
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         They say trust in science, don’t say nothin’ in school ‘bout sin
         That we come from a monkey’s uncle but that’s hardly fair to them
         ’Cause if science had the brains of the dumbest monkey on the block
         We wouldn't worry ‘bout global warmin’ or nuclear aftershock

                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    And Darwin’s orangutan
                                    Why blame ourselves when
                                    The good times boomerang?
                                    If we're afraid to believe in God
                                    Who the hell else can we blame for rain?
                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    An' DNA chain

                                    If we’re afraid to mention God
                                    In our public schools
                                    Kids will get no satisfaction
                                    From breakin’ all his rules
                                    If they won’t listen to a dang thang
                                    And hang with a street gang
                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    An' DNA chain

                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    When they call you jackass
                                    For usin’ God’s name in vain
                                    In your science class
                                    When natural selection
                                    Brings social rejection
                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    Come on, help us sang

                                    If you lose that high-tech job
                                    And you can't pay the rent
                                    You got no money in the bank
                                    An' the paycheck’s long been spent
                                    When they lock your butt up in the hole
                                    For drinkin' away the pain
                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    An' DNA chain

                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    When they declare you insane
                                    And no matter which pill you take
                                    It don’t cure the last gilt pang
                                    When youthful pride starts saggin’
                                    An' the wing has left your wang
                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    File a medical claim

                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    And the black hole in the space
                                    Between ACLU ears
                                    And the rest of the human race
                                    When the gods of rocket science
                                    Blow us past the cosmic plane
                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    And the DNA chain
                                    Blame it on the big bang
                                    An’ our sci-fried brain *

      * Inspired by MENSA: Mental-midgets of Evolution's Natural Selection Advance.

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Copyright © August 20th, 2003 by Richard Aberdeen.
Copyright © Jaunary 7th, 2014 by Richard Aberdeen.
Copyright © February 1st, 2014 by Freedom Tracks Records.

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